Day 86: Heartbeat Revisited

Last Friday we had our second meeting with our obstetrician, Victoria Myers, whom we love. But at Mass General, it's the nurses who operate the little sound-wand thingie.

When we were in there at 9.5 weeks they were just barely able to find little Flinger's heartbeat, after much prodding and poking and hunting around. This time, we were able to hear it right away! The heartbeat clocks in at 140 BPM, somewhat faster than the correct tempo for Bach's Invention #8, which piece I am able to use as my internal clock for 120 BPM, ever since practicing it so much during my final year in music school that the tempo is now indelibly etched in my psyche.

Mary heard an old wives' tail that boys' heartbeats are supposed to be faster than girls'. Or vice versa. In any case, average heartbeat for our baby's stage of development is between 120 and 160. So even if there were some truth to the old wives' tail (which I think we discovered there is not) our kid's not tellin' anything.

We're dying to find out this kid's gender. It'll be another 3.5 weeks 'til we're able to do so. Meanwhile, at least one office pool is forming on the subject. The smart money seems to be on Girl at this point. I have one friend who, I'm not sure why, is quite adamant that it will be a girl, and completely dismisses any suggestion to the possibility of the alternative.

Mary and I concur. We're guessing it'll be a girl. Probably should be, for the sake of balance... if I, the dog, and the kid were all male, Mary might well start to feel out-numbered.

Please do submit your guesses in the "comments" area!

Day 81: Name Game - Fake-out edition

Mary and I will soon be journeying to Idaho for a family reunion at her parents' house. Our news has made it's rounds out there, so everyone will know. The question will inevitably arise: so have you chosen any names yet?

For a boy: Eeyore. No, it's a very common English name, actually. Where do you think Milne got it?! That'll be keep 'em guessing!

For a girl: Flinger.

We may also try Fifi, which is great with Faulkner. Can't you just hear her answering the phone? "Fifi Faulkner, may I help you?"

I love watching people try to be polite when hearing something horrifying and ridiculous like this! Could be fun!

Day 77: Name Game, Revisited

All bets are off. Mary told me last night that's she's uninspired by the names which I thought were the top competitors. Says they're unimaginative.

I don't know if it's back-to-the-drawing board. I hope not, because if you'll recall from my two posts on the subject (here and here), choosing a suitable name is no simple task for us.

It's another five weeks, at least, before we can learn the gender of this baby. Maybe we'll postpone the issue 'til we can narrow the discussion by half. Or maybe that's just cutting out half the fun!

Day 70: First Ultrasound

On Friday we had our first ultra-sound and saw pictures of our baby. Pretty amazing.

Day 67: n-1

My friend Yuri Ivanov may be the smartest person I know. He's a robot scientist and a teacher at MIT, and what's more, he's also wise. Intelligence and wisdom don't always go together, so when Yuri talks, I listen.

Yuri says: "I think the formula for optimal number of babies is n-1. I arrived to it empirically by asking people how many kids they have and how many they would like to have."

Of course he's just kidding (or being humorous, if not actually kidding). His actual addition to the recent Advice thread is: "you can be sure that in the future you will wish your life to be what it is like right now".

I spend a lot of time trying to shape my future, so that's some food for thought. Maybe after the baby I'll spend a lot of time trying to unshape it!

Day 66: Anti-Advice

Sid Holt is one of my colleagues at 80108. He's got two kids, oldest is something like 13. Today, unsolicited and fully unaware of my "Advice" posting of yesterday, he volunteered that he had no advice for me. But he did say one thing I know Mary will like to hear. He said not to listen to everyone who says the first baby changes your life. He said you can continue to have a very normal life. Says he and his wife took their first baby with them everywhere and (paraphrasing) were able to conduct themselves as actual, civilized individuals. Only when you get that second child do you become the home-bound baby-raising machines so many potential parents so dread becoming.

Day 65: Advice

Today I began telling my work friends. One tactic I have for telling people our news - especially to guys who I know have kids of their own - is to say something like, "so Ted, what advice do you have for an expectant father-to-be?". And sometimes they take it as a literal request for advice. So far, advice we've received includes:

1. Keep Mary off the Internet (which is really just a sub-item under "Don't panic")
   
2. Sleep now
3. Get ear-plugs
4. Don't worry if you don't have an affinity for other people's babies (OPBs), you'll be completely 100% enraptured with your own
   
5. But don't expect to bond right-away, you may have a prolonged period of resentment before the full love kicks in
6. Don't be afraid to swaddle tightly, babies like it
7. Don't expect a perfect pregnancy, having something "unusual" happen is the norm
   
8. Have the name picked out before the delivery day arrives
   

But the best prospective-father advice I've gotten so far came today from a friend at work, and I like it because it shortens the list dramatically.

1. Don't listen to anyone's advice

The one thing I think we'd be very wise to do would be to take a long trip somewhere fun, unusual and exciting. Unfortunately, I don't know if either of us will have time for that between now and December... and I still owe Mary a proper honeymoon.