Update on our problem of how to get to the hospital after Mary goes into labor: I recently read that it may be good for a woman to walk after labor has begun (see bullet 2 under "Upright Positions").
Although some sources say it may not be that great, or even not help at all, it certainly does give us an excuse to not to buy a Subaru, parking spot and baby seat, as I feared we might need to a few posts back. Instead we can just walk to the hospital (it's less than a mile, I checked).
So this old wives' tale, by giving me an argument in favor of walking, saves us an estimated $181,910. $150,000 for a parking space in the Back Bay, $31,690 for a Subaru Outback 2.5 XT Limited in quartz silver metallic with off black leather interior and manual 5-speed transmission, and $220 for the Britax Roundabout car seat, which rated highest in Consumer Reports' quick picks for car seats, with a spectacular rating of 81/100.
Of course, all this savings will once again justify purchase of a ridiculously expensive stroller, so we have to add back another $899 for a Bugaboo Cameleon stroller with bassinet, in green, for a grand total savings (after stroller) of a whopping $181,011.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Day 114: It's a Boy
So we're having a boy, for anyone who doesn't know and does care.
We had suspended the naming debate 'til we could narrow the discussion. But neither of us have broached the subject of names since learning the kid's gender on Friday. I think Mary just doesn't want to face the discussion because she knows I have a strong preference for a particular name already, and she, while not necessarily objecting to the name, isn't crazy about it so far. I've cooled on "Elliott" (or "Eliot" or however it would be spelled). Now I like "Emmett" instead. Same idea, in many respects, with the punchy vowel beginning and the "t" sound at the end... but much cooler sounding than Eliot. Everett would be good too, along the same lines, but for family reasons we can't really use that.
Mary likes Dexter. One of the most prominent forebears on my father's side is Dexter Mason Ferry, who basically invented the commercial consumer market for seeds, in Detroit, in the late 19th century. (Mason is taken already - my god-son - or we might have considered using that name). Problem with Dexter is the 'er' sound in it. Dexter Faulkner doesn't roll of the tongue. We could get around it by using "Dex" as a nickname, which I like a lot, but putting Dex against Faulkner is problematic because it's two dipthongs in a row [Correction: dipthongs are consecutive vowel sounds, this is a triple consonant]. Hard to pronounce. The end of Dex and the beginning of Faulkner give you a weird ksf sound I don't like. Also "Dexter" is traditionally a wimp's name.
We'll figure it out. Maybe Mary will warm to the name Emmett. Or maybe I'll get over it. One scary thing is the speed with which we lose interest with names we had at some point liked. I get the idea that no matter where we settle, one year later we'll wish we had chosen something different.
We had suspended the naming debate 'til we could narrow the discussion. But neither of us have broached the subject of names since learning the kid's gender on Friday. I think Mary just doesn't want to face the discussion because she knows I have a strong preference for a particular name already, and she, while not necessarily objecting to the name, isn't crazy about it so far. I've cooled on "Elliott" (or "Eliot" or however it would be spelled). Now I like "Emmett" instead. Same idea, in many respects, with the punchy vowel beginning and the "t" sound at the end... but much cooler sounding than Eliot. Everett would be good too, along the same lines, but for family reasons we can't really use that.
Mary likes Dexter. One of the most prominent forebears on my father's side is Dexter Mason Ferry, who basically invented the commercial consumer market for seeds, in Detroit, in the late 19th century. (Mason is taken already - my god-son - or we might have considered using that name). Problem with Dexter is the 'er' sound in it. Dexter Faulkner doesn't roll of the tongue. We could get around it by using "Dex" as a nickname, which I like a lot, but putting Dex against Faulkner is problematic because it's two dipthongs in a row [Correction: dipthongs are consecutive vowel sounds, this is a triple consonant]. Hard to pronounce. The end of Dex and the beginning of Faulkner give you a weird ksf sound I don't like. Also "Dexter" is traditionally a wimp's name.
We'll figure it out. Maybe Mary will warm to the name Emmett. Or maybe I'll get over it. One scary thing is the speed with which we lose interest with names we had at some point liked. I get the idea that no matter where we settle, one year later we'll wish we had chosen something different.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Day 111: G-Day
So we've learned the gender of our baby. I'm withholding the information for the time being 'til I'm sure certain family members (and readers of this blog) don't wish to wait until it's born.
More important than the gender, though, we learned that the baby is healthy. Obviously, that's the key piece of information we wanted coming into this ultrasound.
One interesting fact: turns out Mary hasn't gained any weight since our first appointment eight weeks ago. It's weird because she's definitely showing a little bit. I think Mary's recent exercise and healthy eating is balancing her natural weight gain from pregnancy. Whatever the cause, it's not a problem yet, but our doctor says it might be a good time for Mary to try to increase her caloric intake. She recommends ice cream.
How often do you get a dietary free pass from a doctor? Nice! All great news today.
More important than the gender, though, we learned that the baby is healthy. Obviously, that's the key piece of information we wanted coming into this ultrasound.
One interesting fact: turns out Mary hasn't gained any weight since our first appointment eight weeks ago. It's weird because she's definitely showing a little bit. I think Mary's recent exercise and healthy eating is balancing her natural weight gain from pregnancy. Whatever the cause, it's not a problem yet, but our doctor says it might be a good time for Mary to try to increase her caloric intake. She recommends ice cream.
How often do you get a dietary free pass from a doctor? Nice! All great news today.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Day 109: Transportation
Mary and I started out together in Manhattan. By the time we met I had long since sold the tiny convertible I had foolishly clung to when I first moved to New York, and ditched the over-priced parking space I had rented in a garage in Jersey City. Mary was smarter than that. She sold her car before moving to New York from LA.
Since moving to Boston we've had two apartments, one in Beacon Hill, and our current place in the Back Bay.
So you can see that we're urban-dwellers. Although we've toyed with the idea of buying a little Subaru or something, it just doesn't make economic sense to own a car right now. We can spend several thousand dollars a year renting cars and it's still cheaper than owning (especially in the city like Boston where a deeded parking space can cost upwards of $100,000 and monthly spaces in garages are considered reasonable at $300+ per month).
The fact that we don't own a car is a wonderful justification for buying lots of other expensive things, though. For example, our neighborhood is littered with $700 to $800 strollers, and since we don't have a car, we look at a fancy stroller like that and say "hm... we can maybe justify that!".
So for reference, when I imagine rolling along in the city with our new baby, I picture myself behind the wheel of one of these monster techno baby carts.
But people are telling us that one of the few things we absolutely must have before the baby is born is a car seat for it. The fact that we don't own a car doesn't seem to matter. You see, the hospital won't let you take the baby home until they see your car seat.
But the hospital is so close to our home that I've always assumed we'd take it home in my dreampt-of convertible super-light adjustable high-tech baby-buggy. Surely a device like that should satisfy the hospital?
Mary says "no". Says they probably won't let us roll a newborn baby out into the Boston winter in late December, stroller quality notwithstanding.
So we'd have to get a cab. And of course, we would need a car seat for that.
It's a bit of a waste of money though, isn't it? Having a car seat and no car?
And then there's the bigger problem of how to get to the hospital. Imagine a dark night in December. At 3:30 AM Mary announces "it's time!", and then what? Two scenarios:
* I invite Mary to walk to the hospital with me, as we always have for our prenatal appointments (it's less than a mile, cmon!)
* I stand on the corner in the cold waiting for a cab to pass, hoping the cabbie doesn't begin to suspect my wife is in labor, because cabbies know quite well that clichés (like the cliché of babies being born in cabs) usually have some basis in reality, and so it could be a good idea to avoid fares like us.
Those don't sound very good... how about this:
* I dash down to the garage under the Boston Common, fire up the little Subaru we keep stashed down there, and speed back up the street to pick up my laboring wife.
That sounds much more reasonable and reliable. And owning a car totally justifies the cost of the car seat we'll need to buy anyway.
So to fulfill this little vision of how to get wife and child to and from the hospital, we have to buy/acquire:
* A car seat
* A car for the car seat
* A parking space for the car
I guess we'll have to justify this expense by getting the less expensive stroller.
Since moving to Boston we've had two apartments, one in Beacon Hill, and our current place in the Back Bay.
So you can see that we're urban-dwellers. Although we've toyed with the idea of buying a little Subaru or something, it just doesn't make economic sense to own a car right now. We can spend several thousand dollars a year renting cars and it's still cheaper than owning (especially in the city like Boston where a deeded parking space can cost upwards of $100,000 and monthly spaces in garages are considered reasonable at $300+ per month).
The fact that we don't own a car is a wonderful justification for buying lots of other expensive things, though. For example, our neighborhood is littered with $700 to $800 strollers, and since we don't have a car, we look at a fancy stroller like that and say "hm... we can maybe justify that!".
So for reference, when I imagine rolling along in the city with our new baby, I picture myself behind the wheel of one of these monster techno baby carts.
But people are telling us that one of the few things we absolutely must have before the baby is born is a car seat for it. The fact that we don't own a car doesn't seem to matter. You see, the hospital won't let you take the baby home until they see your car seat.
But the hospital is so close to our home that I've always assumed we'd take it home in my dreampt-of convertible super-light adjustable high-tech baby-buggy. Surely a device like that should satisfy the hospital?
Mary says "no". Says they probably won't let us roll a newborn baby out into the Boston winter in late December, stroller quality notwithstanding.
So we'd have to get a cab. And of course, we would need a car seat for that.
It's a bit of a waste of money though, isn't it? Having a car seat and no car?
And then there's the bigger problem of how to get to the hospital. Imagine a dark night in December. At 3:30 AM Mary announces "it's time!", and then what? Two scenarios:
* I invite Mary to walk to the hospital with me, as we always have for our prenatal appointments (it's less than a mile, cmon!)
* I stand on the corner in the cold waiting for a cab to pass, hoping the cabbie doesn't begin to suspect my wife is in labor, because cabbies know quite well that clichés (like the cliché of babies being born in cabs) usually have some basis in reality, and so it could be a good idea to avoid fares like us.
Those don't sound very good... how about this:
* I dash down to the garage under the Boston Common, fire up the little Subaru we keep stashed down there, and speed back up the street to pick up my laboring wife.
That sounds much more reasonable and reliable. And owning a car totally justifies the cost of the car seat we'll need to buy anyway.
So to fulfill this little vision of how to get wife and child to and from the hospital, we have to buy/acquire:
* A car seat
* A car for the car seat
* A parking space for the car
I guess we'll have to justify this expense by getting the less expensive stroller.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Day 108: Paranoia
Gender-day is in three days. For the past couple of weeks Mary and I have been very excited by the approaching ultra-sound episode because we're both very excited to learn what we're gettin'.
Then today a coworker friend of mine had to fly home to be with his family because his sister had complications related to the birth of her child a couple of days ago. Not sure what that means, but complications are never good. And today, at lunch, another coworker friend of mine told me about his wife's work. She's a geneticist working at Children's Hospital, where she deals with families who are learning to deal with their children's genetic disorders. "We all have genetic disorders, it's just a question of how they manifest themselves".
All of a sudden I remembered that this ultra-sound episode isn't about us learning the gender of the child. This is all risk assessment. If they're going to discover something "wrong" it'll be on Friday, and now I'm completely paranoid about it. It was the first real example I've had of the truth that I'm now facing: I will now - and forever - have far more to worry about than I ever have before.
The kid better at least like me!
Then today a coworker friend of mine had to fly home to be with his family because his sister had complications related to the birth of her child a couple of days ago. Not sure what that means, but complications are never good. And today, at lunch, another coworker friend of mine told me about his wife's work. She's a geneticist working at Children's Hospital, where she deals with families who are learning to deal with their children's genetic disorders. "We all have genetic disorders, it's just a question of how they manifest themselves".
All of a sudden I remembered that this ultra-sound episode isn't about us learning the gender of the child. This is all risk assessment. If they're going to discover something "wrong" it'll be on Friday, and now I'm completely paranoid about it. It was the first real example I've had of the truth that I'm now facing: I will now - and forever - have far more to worry about than I ever have before.
The kid better at least like me!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Day 104: G-Day Approaches
Eight days 'til Gender-Day.
Last night Mary talked about an article she'd read regarding some kind of gender disappointment depression. Apparently people fall into some kind of depression when they have (or learn they're having) a baby that's the opposite gender than the one they wanted. It seems that the depression is exacerbated by the guilt over having the disappointment in the first place, and by the fact that most people feel they can't acknowledge their disappointment to another person.
I tell people I don't have a preference. Truth is I do, but it changes. Sometimes I want a boy, sometimes I think I'd much prefer a girl. Seems like a girl would be easier than a boy, and I do tend to bond particularly well with the few girl-kids I've known over the years. But most of the time I'd still prefer a boy. There. I confess. However, I'll not be depressed if this is a girl. A girl would be awesome! I'm pysched either way!
Last night Mary talked about an article she'd read regarding some kind of gender disappointment depression. Apparently people fall into some kind of depression when they have (or learn they're having) a baby that's the opposite gender than the one they wanted. It seems that the depression is exacerbated by the guilt over having the disappointment in the first place, and by the fact that most people feel they can't acknowledge their disappointment to another person.
I tell people I don't have a preference. Truth is I do, but it changes. Sometimes I want a boy, sometimes I think I'd much prefer a girl. Seems like a girl would be easier than a boy, and I do tend to bond particularly well with the few girl-kids I've known over the years. But most of the time I'd still prefer a boy. There. I confess. However, I'll not be depressed if this is a girl. A girl would be awesome! I'm pysched either way!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Day 97: West Nile
We made it through the party no problem. Our impending baby wasn't the topic of conversation I thought it might be. Shockingly, people don't seem to care that much when confronted with the amazing news that a married couple are having a baby. I seem to have forgotten that this is the most basic event in the big picture of human biology, and that most people get around to it much earlier in life than we have.
We spent Sunday through Wednesday on a camping trip. The first night we "car camped" with Mary's cousin Travis, his wife Ali, and their two kids (3 & 7). What seems to be happening is that every time I get to witness the ugly realities of the day-to-day of raising children, I think "that looks like a pain in the ass, but I won't mind doing it for MY child". Here's hoping that continues. I do like them better when they're out of "toad phase", though.
Monday and Tuesday night were spent five miles into the Sawtooth Wilderness, at a place called "Hell Roaring Lake". Beautiful, but thick with mosquitoes. According to Mary's research we've engaged in a number of forbidden fetus-endangering activities:
I don't really think we've endangered the pregnancy at all, but with all the hype and extra precautions people take, you really get paranoid.
We spent Sunday through Wednesday on a camping trip. The first night we "car camped" with Mary's cousin Travis, his wife Ali, and their two kids (3 & 7). What seems to be happening is that every time I get to witness the ugly realities of the day-to-day of raising children, I think "that looks like a pain in the ass, but I won't mind doing it for MY child". Here's hoping that continues. I do like them better when they're out of "toad phase", though.
Monday and Tuesday night were spent five miles into the Sawtooth Wilderness, at a place called "Hell Roaring Lake". Beautiful, but thick with mosquitoes. According to Mary's research we've engaged in a number of forbidden fetus-endangering activities:
- Sickness from mosquito-borne West Nile virus is very dangerous.
- Drinking water that's found on-site but pumped through a purifier is a no-no—if the filter is broken and bacteria get through, mom could get sick and baby could be lost.
- Climbing up and down steep, rocky inclines carries a chance of falling.
I don't really think we've endangered the pregnancy at all, but with all the hype and extra precautions people take, you really get paranoid.
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