Friday, February 29, 2008
8 Weeks: Spoke Too Soon
I blogged too soon. It turns out the soreness from vaccinations in the kid's thighs was a bit delayed. He's been really sad about it, periodically, all afternoon and into this evening. Evidence:
8 Weeks: Doctor's Appointment
It's been exactly two months, today, since August was born. And fittingly, we had our two-month checkup at the doctor's. We were both worried about it because he was to have his first vaccines, and we had heard/read that it can be traumatic for babies and parents alike.
It was traumatic at the time... he didn't like having three big needles jabbed into his legs, poor kid. Turned instantly red, the whole baby. Mary was upset, and so was I. We were prepared for fussing and crying all afternoon, but after a quick feeding session at the doctor, and a nap in the Baby Bjorn on the way home, he's completely over it. For now. There is the possibility of fever setting in later, so... we'll watch out for that.
I like going to the doctor because we get good, spreadsheetable data. I've been keeping track of height and length. Our baby keeps getting more and more average. One thing I don't understand: he's at "about" the 50th percentile for both weight and length, but he's at "about" the 25th percentile for ratio of weight to length... so he's taller/longer than average, for his weight, even though he's average length and average weight. Must be a rounding thing, or an approximation thing.
One thing is clear from the data: he's putting on weight faster than he's growing in length.
Weight is represented by the red diamonds, and tracked along the left-hand vertical axis (from around 8.5 lbs to 11.4 lbs). Length is represented by the blue dots, and tracked on the right-hand vertical axis (from 21" to 23.25").
It was traumatic at the time... he didn't like having three big needles jabbed into his legs, poor kid. Turned instantly red, the whole baby. Mary was upset, and so was I. We were prepared for fussing and crying all afternoon, but after a quick feeding session at the doctor, and a nap in the Baby Bjorn on the way home, he's completely over it. For now. There is the possibility of fever setting in later, so... we'll watch out for that.
I like going to the doctor because we get good, spreadsheetable data. I've been keeping track of height and length. Our baby keeps getting more and more average. One thing I don't understand: he's at "about" the 50th percentile for both weight and length, but he's at "about" the 25th percentile for ratio of weight to length... so he's taller/longer than average, for his weight, even though he's average length and average weight. Must be a rounding thing, or an approximation thing.
One thing is clear from the data: he's putting on weight faster than he's growing in length.
Weight is represented by the red diamonds, and tracked along the left-hand vertical axis (from around 8.5 lbs to 11.4 lbs). Length is represented by the blue dots, and tracked on the right-hand vertical axis (from 21" to 23.25").
Thursday, February 28, 2008
8 Weeks: Name Game - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
My sister is expecting her first baby (also a boy), and at the tail-end of an email on an unrelated subject, she enumerated a short list of names she and her husband are considering.
My response took her by surprise: I advised her to keep her ideas to herself. Obviously, she called foul, as I had exposed our name-selection process to the entire Internet, not to mention family & friends.
Mary and I would probably not do another public exposure of our name-selection thinking process. We definitely recommend keeping your list to yourself, for four simple reasons:
Many people have asked how we ever arrived at August, since it was never really on the shortlist. People thought it came out of nowhere. (For the record, it was on the final list, and also evaluated in my fancy spreadsheet, where it ranked second among 12 names). The honest truth is that, toward the end there, we got sick of hearing people's opinions. With only a few weeks left, Mary decided she wanted to find a name that wasn't on any list, and keep it off this blog, keep it hidden. I despaired that we'd be able to do that because we had already worked very hard to find candidates we liked, and every single one of them had been blogged. I honestly thought we had considered every realistic possibility for us, at that time. I still do!
We talked less and less frequently about the subject as the due date approached, because it had been the source of rather a lot of conflict... possibly because we had been so public with the process. We had talked very briefly of reconsidering August a couple of weeks before the due date, and then just dropped it. Even after he was born we avoided discussing the matter until it wasn't realistic to do so any longer. Everyone asks you what you've named your baby!
After having witnessed what Mary had gone through in process of labor, I decided that she could choose to name him whatever she wanted... it should be her prerogative. But by then we had it down to Eliot and August. August won partially because I liked it better and mostly because it wasn't really on anyone's radar. As of today I'm very happy with the choice. Whether August himself will be happy or not remains to be seen, and that was really the objective... give him a name he loved, which would serve him well at all stages of life and regardless of what he should choose to do with it.
My response took her by surprise: I advised her to keep her ideas to herself. Obviously, she called foul, as I had exposed our name-selection process to the entire Internet, not to mention family & friends.
Mary and I would probably not do another public exposure of our name-selection thinking process. We definitely recommend keeping your list to yourself, for four simple reasons:
- Outsiders can have an unjustifiably large influence on your thinking/perception.
- Once you've put a name out into the wild, you'll feel that you've set expectations.
- Inviting others to participate in your name selection process may invite more participation than you bargained for.
- There's a disconnect between how seriously you, as a parent, will take the naming process compared with marginally-involved outsiders.
- Your favorite little name(s) are certain to find some people who don't "get it"; you just can't please everyone. But those few dissenters get inside your head and distort your perception of what might otherwise be a perfectly good name. They can put you off a front-running favorite, even though the individual might represent an extreme outlier for how a name will be perceived.
- The same distortion can happen in the opposite direction. A well-meaning friend might actively lobby for a name on which you'd otherwise be just so-so.
- If you manage to ignore the undue influence of vocal individuals, you're still not out of the woods: if someone close to you has a less-than-positive reaction to a name, you might hesitate to use it just because you don't want to offend that person.
- You might be surprised by the degree to which people are willing to share their opinions and get involved. Your idea might be to get a quick "positive/negative" reaction to a particular name, but once you invite someone's opinion, it can be delivered vociferously and revisited frequently.
- Especially for individuals outside your family, and even inside your family, nobody except you will treat your name selection process with appropriate weight. Somebody out there just loves the idea that some kid, somewhere, should be named Roxtar (lookin' at you, Andrew!). If it can be your kid, that's great, because you can bet they'd never use it themselves! Same problem affects the level of critical feedback you get when you yourself suggest a bad name idea. "Peach? Sure, why not... that'd be kind of a cute name... I guess. Yeah! Why not?! Do it!" Your friends simply don't have enough skin in the game to be useful in the long, arduous, and important name-selection process.
- Name selection should be a discussion (if not negotiation!) between two parents. We found that when we took our naming ideas to our separate groups of friends, those friends tended to reinforce our own positions. All my friends loved the name Emmet and all Mary's friends thought Eliot was perfect. This is understandable; your friends want to be supportive. But all that positive feedback from friends unduly reinforces your confidence that you have indeed made the right choice, and how can your stupid spouse just not get it!? It creates over-confidence in your preconceptions, and tends to make it harder to listen to a spouses reasoned considerations. It creates division when you really need to be coming together.
Many people have asked how we ever arrived at August, since it was never really on the shortlist. People thought it came out of nowhere. (For the record, it was on the final list, and also evaluated in my fancy spreadsheet, where it ranked second among 12 names). The honest truth is that, toward the end there, we got sick of hearing people's opinions. With only a few weeks left, Mary decided she wanted to find a name that wasn't on any list, and keep it off this blog, keep it hidden. I despaired that we'd be able to do that because we had already worked very hard to find candidates we liked, and every single one of them had been blogged. I honestly thought we had considered every realistic possibility for us, at that time. I still do!
We talked less and less frequently about the subject as the due date approached, because it had been the source of rather a lot of conflict... possibly because we had been so public with the process. We had talked very briefly of reconsidering August a couple of weeks before the due date, and then just dropped it. Even after he was born we avoided discussing the matter until it wasn't realistic to do so any longer. Everyone asks you what you've named your baby!
After having witnessed what Mary had gone through in process of labor, I decided that she could choose to name him whatever she wanted... it should be her prerogative. But by then we had it down to Eliot and August. August won partially because I liked it better and mostly because it wasn't really on anyone's radar. As of today I'm very happy with the choice. Whether August himself will be happy or not remains to be seen, and that was really the objective... give him a name he loved, which would serve him well at all stages of life and regardless of what he should choose to do with it.
Monday, February 25, 2008
8 Weeks: ADHD Miracle Cure
Mary passed along an article about a (not very scientific) Norwegian study on the effects of diet-change to correct/cure ADHD in kids with a certain kind of protein deficiency. Note, not all ADHD kids may have the protein deficiency in question, but for those who do, this looks promising. Have to cut out milk and certain grains.
I was a handful when I was a kid, and I remember one doctor (it might have been a therapist, who can remember) prescribed a diet for me. Not the same diet as in the Norwegian study. All I can remember about it was that I had to have special breakfast cereal, and instead of chocolate, I was to have carob. Didn't work for me, but neither did drugs. And carob sucks compared to chocolate. I shouldn't say the diet didn't work, I should say that I didn't stay on the special diet.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and try childhood again, this time arming my parents with modern knowledge and the Internet. Being an informed parent must be so much easier now than it was in my parents' day.
I was a handful when I was a kid, and I remember one doctor (it might have been a therapist, who can remember) prescribed a diet for me. Not the same diet as in the Norwegian study. All I can remember about it was that I had to have special breakfast cereal, and instead of chocolate, I was to have carob. Didn't work for me, but neither did drugs. And carob sucks compared to chocolate. I shouldn't say the diet didn't work, I should say that I didn't stay on the special diet.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and try childhood again, this time arming my parents with modern knowledge and the Internet. Being an informed parent must be so much easier now than it was in my parents' day.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
8 Weeks: You'd Cry Too
You'd cry too if your dad kissed you with his stubbly face. Poor kid.
Great photo by Mary:
Eight weeks old today.
Great photo by Mary:
Eight weeks old today.
Friday, February 22, 2008
7 Weeks: The Nap & Nibble
Photos of August at his favorite eatery... the Nap & Nibble. It's a breastfeeding pillow (the Brest Friend...
highly recommended) which, in Augs' case, also serves as a convenient platform for an extended siesta. August spends the better part of his day making the quick and graceful transition between eating & sleeping (and sometimes fussing). Not a bad life!
highly recommended) which, in Augs' case, also serves as a convenient platform for an extended siesta. August spends the better part of his day making the quick and graceful transition between eating & sleeping (and sometimes fussing). Not a bad life!
7 Weeks: Child Gone Batty
Milestone tonight. And a possible discovery.
Milestone:
I read in our week-by-week infant development book that August should soon begin looking at, and using, his hands. Of course, since reading this I've been dangling toys over him, picking up his arms and making them touch the toys, putting his own hands in front of his face... everything I can think of to accelerate the process.
Finally, tonight, I was dangling his favorite wooden caterpillar toy over him so he could stare at it, and I thought maybe he was trying to grab at it. Then, pretty soon he was batting at it, grabbing on to it, really going nuts.
Discovery:
So now he bats at stuff in front of his face (and so would I, really). And based on his behavior both tonight and previously, and on some research I've done, I think August might be left handed.
I've actually suspected this for some time, based on the fact that he seems more active with his left hand, more purposeful. But tonight, he would only bat at the caterpillar toy with his left hand. And I read an abstract from a widely cited 1981 scholarly paper, Right-handedness: a consequence of infant supine head-orientation preference?, by GF Michel. The basic gist is that most babies prefer to lie with their heads turned toward the right. A small percentage prefer to lie with their heads turned to left, and that group is much more prone to develop left-handedness later. For a long time I've noticed August prefers to turn his head to the left. I mentioned this to Mary earlier today, before I realized it was an indicator of anything, or even studied in any way. I thought it was just something he did... maybe even and indication that something wasn't right (get it?? wasn't right??).
I'm surprised handedness is "developed", rather than innate. Apparently there's no genetic marker. In most of the academic research I saw, left-handedness is treated as some sort of defect (correlated to poor academic performance, to crisis/stress as a newborn, to schizophrenia), but I've always found lefties to be more creative, individualistic, artistic. I guess we've got a long way to go before we learn whether he is or isn't left handed, but if you gave me 6:1 odds on a condition that should be a 1 in 9 shot... today I'd take that bet!
Milestone:
I read in our week-by-week infant development book that August should soon begin looking at, and using, his hands. Of course, since reading this I've been dangling toys over him, picking up his arms and making them touch the toys, putting his own hands in front of his face... everything I can think of to accelerate the process.
Finally, tonight, I was dangling his favorite wooden caterpillar toy over him so he could stare at it, and I thought maybe he was trying to grab at it. Then, pretty soon he was batting at it, grabbing on to it, really going nuts.
Discovery:
So now he bats at stuff in front of his face (and so would I, really). And based on his behavior both tonight and previously, and on some research I've done, I think August might be left handed.
I've actually suspected this for some time, based on the fact that he seems more active with his left hand, more purposeful. But tonight, he would only bat at the caterpillar toy with his left hand. And I read an abstract from a widely cited 1981 scholarly paper, Right-handedness: a consequence of infant supine head-orientation preference?, by GF Michel. The basic gist is that most babies prefer to lie with their heads turned toward the right. A small percentage prefer to lie with their heads turned to left, and that group is much more prone to develop left-handedness later. For a long time I've noticed August prefers to turn his head to the left. I mentioned this to Mary earlier today, before I realized it was an indicator of anything, or even studied in any way. I thought it was just something he did... maybe even and indication that something wasn't right (get it?? wasn't right??).
I'm surprised handedness is "developed", rather than innate. Apparently there's no genetic marker. In most of the academic research I saw, left-handedness is treated as some sort of defect (correlated to poor academic performance, to crisis/stress as a newborn, to schizophrenia), but I've always found lefties to be more creative, individualistic, artistic. I guess we've got a long way to go before we learn whether he is or isn't left handed, but if you gave me 6:1 odds on a condition that should be a 1 in 9 shot... today I'd take that bet!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
7 Weeks: On a Walk
A few days ago the whole family went for a walk, with me carrying August in our front-pack contraption. Mary shot a quick video clip:
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
6 Weeks: He's Always Watching
August spends a lot of time staring at me, very intently, watching my mouth, watching my eyes, checking everything out. As I've mentioned before, he seems to be experimenting with imitating me. It struck me suddenly that he will always be watching, if not always quite so obviously, and like it or not, will probably always emulate me to some degree... even if he denies it or tries not to!
Gives me pause to know that I'm being scrutinized so closely, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.
Gives me pause to know that I'm being scrutinized so closely, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
6 Weeks: Fussmaster General
From his very first day, August had a nickname. He was sitting in his little bassinet, I looked at him and said, "monkey monkey moon!" Poor kid's been saddled with the nickname Monkey Moon ever since. It's Monkey Moon this and Moon Monkey that, and "oh, yes, Monkies Moon all enjoy a nice nap & nibble".
Other nicknames August has "enjoyed" thus far:
Update
I forgot:
Other nicknames August has "enjoyed" thus far:
- Growler Bear
- Moon Bear
- August Bear
- Augs Monster
- Fuss Monster
- Fussmaster General
- The Little Emperor [i.e. Augustus]
- Moon Bear
- Moon Pie
- Monkey Bear
- Growl Monster
- etc.
Update
I forgot:
- Boob Muncher
- Young Sir
- Monkey Pot Pie
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
6 Weeks: Smile Again
Photo by Mary, from Monday night.
I guess he looks more amused than smiling, but this was my favorite of the set.
He's nice and smiley in this one, it's just a bit blurry.
I guess he looks more amused than smiling, but this was my favorite of the set.
He's nice and smiley in this one, it's just a bit blurry.
Monday, February 11, 2008
6 Weeks: Continuing Changes
When Mary was still only about 3 months pregnant we went for an appointment at the obstetrician and happened to bump into our upstairs neighbors in the waiting room... they too were having a baby. Their baby was due about a month after ours.
It's been fun to compare notes with them, talk about building logistics, etc. We had them over for dinner when both women were in the pregnancy phase. Now both kids have been born, and we were invited up for dinner at their place last night, so August had his first-ever dinner party.
Our neighbors' baby, a beautiful little girl named Neve, with thick dark hair, is 4 weeks younger than August, so she's two weeks old. She was smaller than August - weighs less now than August ever has since he was born. But seeing her brought-back memories of Augusts' first two weeks, and gave us an object reminder of how much he's changed and grown in his six weeks.
Note the difference between a picture at about two weeks, and another, from today:
Maybe these changes seem more exaggerated to us, due to our level of attention - we're definitely tuned in to this kid. But trust me, he has developed!
His appearance isn't all that's changed. We get daily smiling sessions, and sometimes (we're pretty sure!) he tries to imitate the mouth movements he sees when we talk to him. It looks/sounds likes he's experimenting with his voice, sort an opening salvo on speech development.
Fun times!
It's been fun to compare notes with them, talk about building logistics, etc. We had them over for dinner when both women were in the pregnancy phase. Now both kids have been born, and we were invited up for dinner at their place last night, so August had his first-ever dinner party.
Our neighbors' baby, a beautiful little girl named Neve, with thick dark hair, is 4 weeks younger than August, so she's two weeks old. She was smaller than August - weighs less now than August ever has since he was born. But seeing her brought-back memories of Augusts' first two weeks, and gave us an object reminder of how much he's changed and grown in his six weeks.
Note the difference between a picture at about two weeks, and another, from today:
Maybe these changes seem more exaggerated to us, due to our level of attention - we're definitely tuned in to this kid. But trust me, he has developed!
His appearance isn't all that's changed. We get daily smiling sessions, and sometimes (we're pretty sure!) he tries to imitate the mouth movements he sees when we talk to him. It looks/sounds likes he's experimenting with his voice, sort an opening salvo on speech development.
Fun times!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
5 Weeks: Name Game - English Rock Star Edition
One of the criteria we considered when we were choosing a name was: could our kid use this name to front a rock band? Not sure we found that with August (probably he can get away with it), but it forces one to ask oneself: what are rocks star names?
Here, then, is my list of great English rock star names:
Here, then, is my list of great English rock star names:
- Nigel
- Roger
- Mick
- Keith
- Sid/Syd
- Nick
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
5 Weeks: Say Cheese
We get about two or three smile sessions per day now. Here's a good one. Click for gigantic version.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
5 Weeks: Longevity
I was thinking this afternoon about how, with good luck and good medicine, August might well live to see the year 2100. That this could reasonably happen sort of blows my mind. If this were the case, the span of time from my birth to his death would be 135 years... that's a far cry from what people might have expected 100 years ago. If I had been in 1865, rather than 1965, my life expectancy might have been less than 45 years, and I'd likely have had kids in my early-to-mid twenties, rather than my early forties. So if I had a child at age 25 and lived to 45, the span of time from my birth to the end of a child's life would be 65 years: less than half the number we're contemplating today.
Is it any wonder there seems to be a widening generation gap when we're waiting longer than ever to have kids, and the rate of societal and technological change is more rapid than ever? Of course, that assumes societal change is more rapid now than it was in, say, the 60's and 70's. That "times are a-changin'" ever more rapidly seems to be a generally accepted notion these days, but hasn't it always been? More importantly, is it true? I don't think August's world will be as alien to me as mine was to my dad's.
On a completely unrelated note, to temper this ambling, ponderous post, here's a photo of me holding a goo baby in the Bjorn. This is a strategy we've been using to calm him down... walking around the apartment this way. More on why this has become necessary in a future post.
Is it any wonder there seems to be a widening generation gap when we're waiting longer than ever to have kids, and the rate of societal and technological change is more rapid than ever? Of course, that assumes societal change is more rapid now than it was in, say, the 60's and 70's. That "times are a-changin'" ever more rapidly seems to be a generally accepted notion these days, but hasn't it always been? More importantly, is it true? I don't think August's world will be as alien to me as mine was to my dad's.
On a completely unrelated note, to temper this ambling, ponderous post, here's a photo of me holding a goo baby in the Bjorn. This is a strategy we've been using to calm him down... walking around the apartment this way. More on why this has become necessary in a future post.
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